Claws and Jaws
by MikaandNika
Summary: The result of a demented discussion in Gym class features Spiral, Naruto, Xmen Evolution, loveless, and Ouran High School Host Club possibly more if wanted.


Mika & Nika: Hey everyone this is Moncollefan365 and Narro here. We decided to do a joint story off a conversation we had in gym class. This is a four or five way crossover between Naruto, Spiral, X-men Evolution, and Fruits Basket and Ouran High School Host Club.

Warning: Characters will be out of character, Grammar Nazi's will be flamed and Flamers will be used to fend off the flying monkeys

Disclaimer: We don't own anything but the plot I own Mika and Narro owns Nika and we both own Nata. . So don't sue or steal, although why anyone would want to steal those three is beyond me…

Nika: On with the story already!

* * *

"Nata, how is that systems double check coming?" called Nika, still looking down at her notebook, as she flipped her long, sharp and incredibly dirty blonde bangs out of her amber eyes. Nata shimmered in front of the pair of girls from their work station, appearing as a small girl, perhaps of about nine years of age with sherbet orange hair framing her chocolate eyes. Mechanical elf like ears poked out from the sides of her sharp and pointed face.

"For the last time, _it's fine!_" scowled the hologram. The computerized hologram fingered its silvery woolen sweater's hem before looking over at the two girls. "Why are you two so freaked out about this? You two are obviously more competent than that…Hammond fellow!"

"Why thank you Nata. However it is not our competence that we are worried about. We want to ensure that our island is a million and five times more efficient and **safe** before we invite our four sets of guests." The second girl said twirling one of her lime green bangs around her finger, jade green eyes surveying the lab critically. The lab was an enigma of labs. The whole north side of the cool, white room was spotlessly and painfully organized; for this is where they had their work stations nearest to the computers and monitors. The south end however, was a disaster area. It was separated off by thick plate glass into two sections: the hatchery and the nursery. The desks before the plate glass were a danger zone of notebooks, pens and pencils that were half used and broken, and there were papers everywhere! The hatchery was full of straw, soft dirt to cushion the eggs. A large white cooler stood in the corner of the room holding the very delicate embryos. The nursery was off white, and bottles were strewn about on low lying tables, empty but having been used. Toys littered the floor, creating a toe hazard to anyone who dared walk within.

"Uh, anyway…All systems are ready, including feeding, securities, accounting of the animals, the Lysine factor, and of course the padlocks are on the coke machine. By the way, I'm feeling fine, just in case one of you cared enough," sniffed the hologram, with a realistic trickle of tears running down the computer-child's cheek.

"I was actually just about to ask about you Nata so don't get so upset. Do you really think either of us wants anything bad to happen to you? And thanks for locking the coke up. We don't want a repeat of last week." Mika said glaring at her companion. Nika looked down and muttered something about the damn flying monkeys taking over the world.

"Well, I'm going back into the monitor, I don't want to waste my batteries just yet…" trailed the girl, who ducked into the fifty two inch monitor. Nika glared at the computer child, who suddenly morphed into an ungainly teenaged boy. The boy grimaced at Nika.

"Nata, don't glare at me. It's a bad pixilated look for you," wryly noted Nika.

"Okay, we need to get our rears in gear and get our first guests into this reality," interrupted Mika. Nika nodded and rummaged through a file drawer and took out two spires and placed them onto the lab table.

"They're done, so we should be ready to go. Though I admit I think we should go armed, cuz this Asazuki dude seems kinda like he would go with a fight," admitted Nika. She put the stainless steel spires that beeped at her compliantly six feet across from each other in the middle of the room. "Ready Mika?"

"Let's go!" Mika jumped up from her wheely chair, "Let me just get a few steelies," Mika reached into a cabinet and removed a few kunai and spare shuriken. "Alright, ready to go." Nika nodded and moved to the left spire, while Mika moved to the one on the right. They each started typing in six digits each on their respective spires and then looked at each other.

"One…"

"Two…"

"THREE!" They both cried out and punched the trigger buttons on top of each spire and with a gust of wind and a whoosh; a florescent pink-orange miasma flung itself up from each of the spires and formed a doorway of a circular formation between them. They both met each other in the center.

"I thought it was going to be _blue_," venomously uttered Mika.

"It looks like a smoothie…Nu! Now I want a smoothie!" cried out Nika in desperation, somehow pushing Mika through the portal with an extravagant windmill motion with her arms. "….Whoops," laughed Nika good-naturedly. "Tally hooo!" And in the miasma she leapt.

Meanwhile, in the world of Spiral……

"Oh my god, would you two just _go…away_?" roared out the red headed Kousuke Asazuki at his two friends, Rio and Ryoko. Ryoko looked amusedly at the petite Rio, who looked up at Kousuke cutely, but then her expression changed as she looked further up.

"Uh…Kousuke-kun? What's that?" quavered the little silver haired imp.

"Eh?" he looked up to see a speck of blue hurtling towards…him? HIM?! "Oh….OH!" And this exclamation was as far as he could utter, before this mass of blue and green slammed into the blade child's body. A moment later, a second speck rocketed towards the ground and landed neatly-until she fell off it that is-on a statue in the middle of the fountain. The second girl stands and dusts herself off arrogantly, and eyes everyone.

"Remember Mika, we need the artifacts. Hold them tight-Mika?" Nika quirked an eyebrow at the toppled Mika **upon** Kousuke. Needless to say, all three, including Mika, were nearly in the same of mind at this moment and this mind would be: "Eh?"

"…OWWIES! Nika-kun I think I broke my ankle." Nika's eyes bulged. Kousuke sweatdropped.

"Uh, could you get off me?"

"You FOOL. You BAKA. You broke Mika's ankle. You shall be punished…." Grimly whispered Nika, winking at Mika slyly. Rio did not miss this.

"Is there an eyelash in your eye, strange person thingy mabob?" sweetly put in Rio.

"Why! I did not realize that they still made them this small," gasped Nika in a fake voice. Rio growled.

"Uh, Mika? Help?"

"I would love to help Nika unfortunately…I CAN'T MOVE!" Nika snapped her fingers.

"Duh…Kousuke. You will carry her," pronounced Nika grandly.

"IF…he does Nika YOU get to explain to them the reason why we're here…uh you three wouldn't know where she can find Narumi and his shadow would you? Cuz she needs to _INVITE_ them too." While Mika was speaking, Nika was making sure Kousuke was carrying her correctly, with Ryoko and Rio snickering all the while.

"Yes, we also need Piano boy and Hick-a-billy," said Nika, causing Mika to snicker.

"Actually, we were just going to meet Kanone and Eyes at this café and discuss….well, it doesn't matter what we were going to discuss," added Ryoko.

A few minutes earlier….

Ayumu sighed. He was so tired of this stupid song…

"Outside the window….kira kira kira ri…" sang Hiyono, innocently unaware that she was bothering Ayumu. Ayumu fluffed at the back of his hair and started to wonder what he would cook for dinner when he heard an explosion that rocked the ground beneath his feet. The explosion was followed closely by a loud scream and yet another explosion.

"What on earth was that?" Hiyono questioned looking at Ayumu. Said boy shrugged and began jogging towards where the explosion occurred. Hiyono growled frustrated and followed after him.

With Nika and Mika…

"So you want us to believe that you two are geneticists from another dimension and that you're here to invite us, little Narumi, and Hiyoko to some weird theme park that you have created?" Kousuke implored of the green haired girl he was carrying.

"Uhm…yeah except it's not really a theme park…well…we can't exactly describe it you wouldn't believe us anyway." Mika said, her face inventing a completely new shade of red. A shout was heard from down the street and all ears pricked towards the familiar shout. Ayumu with Hiyono hot on his heels (perhaps literally?) gaining ground towards them. In a rare scene of clumsiness, Ayumu defied gravity as he slipped upon a puddle and slid directly in front of Mika and Kousuke. Mika, in a fit of embarrassment, freaks out and begins to flail her arms about in a rather familiar windmill action.

"H-hey! Watch it, Mika-chaaaaAOW!" he screamed out. Mika's non existent nails had caught onto his glasses and his jacket. She leaned backwards and fell straight down, bringing the glasses and the coat down with her with a hard thump!

"OWWWWIIIEEESSS!" Mika whined pathetically for the second time that day. Kousuke sighed, and reached down to retrieve his glasses and coat. Mika leaped up and bolted down the street, waving the glasses triumphantly above her head. Nika watched in amusement beside the stunned group of teenagers.

"Hey, she moves pretty fast for a girl with a broken ankle," she remarked. Just at this moment, Mika came screaming back and hid behind Nika's taller frame. A suave, sleek, and _very shiny_ limo roared up and parked in front of the stunned group. Out stepped a bishie plus a bishie. They were both thin, though lithe, and differed completely in complexions and colorings. Eyes was the stone cold silver haired, blue eyed piano man. Kanone was the coffee hair and eye hilly billy. He likes to illustrate a point with a cat puppet.

"Why, good mornin' to you this good day my fellow blachis!" chirped the Hick a billy. (A.N. Disregard the really bad southern accent. That's just us making fun of the anime.)

"Kanone…." Sighed the British boy, eyeing the two newcomers.

"Oh, this is Mika Gesshoku, and Nika Nakamura," introduced Rio.

"Hello we would like to invite you to tour our park in another dimension." Mika said bowing.

"And we would like to do this because…?" Eyes remarked sarcastically. Nika smiled and withdrew a kunai, placing the handle in her mouth. She grinned with clenched teeth, exposing her fangs. It was just then that everyone noticed that Nika had adorned Kousuke's coat and Mika was wearing the glasses. Mika did not have a kunai, but several shuriken between each finger.

"Why, what an excellent idea! I think the idea is top notch! Let us gooo!" sweatdropped Kanone, putting on a fake and cheery voice.

"Oh and if that isn't motivation enough…no hunters," Nika replied cheerily. Hiyono raised a hand. "Er…..Hiyono-chan?"

"Hai! May I get my back pack before we set off for this field trip?" The bubble gum sweetness dripped from her voice.

"….You have a lot of time….we have to figure out how to get that blasted portal working again, unless you guys can get up there," Mika hung her head and pointed upwards to the smoothie colored ring in the sky. Everyone stared. Nika ignored everyone, she was too busy swaggering herself in front of a shop window.

"Gawd, I'm just too sexy for my shirt," she cooed at her reflection. Everyone stared questioningly at Mika.

"I am in no way associated with her." The jade haired girl yelled turning to run from the scene. However as she turned around she managed to run headlong into Rio landing herself flat on the ground.

"…OWWWIEESS!" She whined yet again. Nika ignored all of this, and looked up at the building closest to the orb of smoothie colored light.

"Do you guys know what building that is? Mebe we could use the elevator to get to the roof and then we could toss you up…." She muttered to herself.

"That's a Macys. It has an elevator for all of its floors. Though if it has a stair case to the roof, I'm sure it does because most buildings do," informed Eyes quietly. Hiyono's pen was heard scratching away at her notebook, taking notes. Nika chose to ignore this.

"How exactly are you going to _throw us_ all the way up there? Ma'am, I value my life very highly, and my pretty face and eyes even more," kindly put in Kanone.

"You underestimate Nika-kun's strength, Hick a Billy," teased Mika. Kanone stepped back from Nika nervously.

"Well, we might as well move on," softly said Ayumu. They trotted across the street, Mika's "broken ankle" mysteriously healed to perfection. Kousuke noted this with annoyance. The shiny tiling softly reflected the lighting in the department store. They swiftly moved to the elevator and rode it up in silence, with the girls bouncing on the balls of their feet. They reached the top floor below the rooftop. Ayumu tapped a worker on the shoulder. The plain man turned around and looked at the group blankly.

"We don't got any money," he blandly stated.

"We don't want your money, old timer. Where's the stairs to go to the roof? My kid sister here needs some air," he pulled Rio up ahead of him. On cue, she coughed and spluttered and looked up at the man hopefully. The man pointed stiffly, and turned back to his stocking work.

"Grouchy old…" muttered Ryoko. They tackled the stairs like pros and ended up on the gravely rooftop. The pinkish-orange circle was now only about ten feet above them. Nika bent down and cupped her hands together. Mika rushed up and jumped on her hands, lifting Mika and tossing her at the portal. Mika went ahead and into the lab to make sure that the spires would not suddenly shut off. Nika rubs her hands together and glared evilly at Kanone who backed away from her slowly.

"Too slow hillbilly," She singsonged as she grabbed the back of his shirt and flung him through the portal.

"Ok…Who's next?" Nika swept her eyes across the crowd of guests. Her stare stopped at the pint sized bomber Rio.

"Oh no you don't-"too late! Up Rio went like a silvery volleyball, complete with voice automated screaming. Too stunned to do anything else, one by one each and every single Blade Child and Ayumu and Hiyono were flung into the sherberty portal, until only Eyes was left standing.

"No need to catapult me up into the ice cream abyss, I shall be as the honorable bunny," and with this stated and Nika there with a questioning look, he bounced up into the air and was gone into the portal.

Shrugging, she pulled out a length of cord and tied it to the blunt end of her kunai and whipped it to the portal.

Meanwhile, in the lab…

"HILLABILLY! DON'T MOLEST NATA!!" cried Mika above the screams of horror and indignation from the hologram who had formed itself into its female version as soon as they had entered the lab. Sheepishly ducking at Mika's swipe, he somehow avoided certain death as a kunai zinged over his head and was imbedded in the wall. It was pulled taught and suddenly like Tarzan himself, Nika swung herself into the lab. Being as the breed of Klutzes, she ended up wrapping herself around the piano boy. As if suddenly becoming the hulk, complete with the green tinge to the face, Eyes suddenly rose up as if possessed with the young kunoichi in his embrace.

"Why, Eyes…I didn't know you cared!" crooned the lion eared geneticist. Mika who was until this point staring in disbelief at Kousuke's glasses walked over to said redhead and stared into his eyes.

"What the frick! Do you have cat DNA in you or something?! And what the hell are these glasses made of?! Their fucking indestructible," The lime haired thief exclaimed depositing said glasses onto their owners face. Startled, Kousuke looked at his friends. They all shrugged and waited for him to answer, but none came.

"We are Blade Children. We are equipped with cat eyes, a lack of a pair of ribs and we do not know who our fathers are," quietly put in Eyes, still holding Nika. Nika smirks up at him, puckering her lips up at him. Quite suddenly, she finds her butt is quite sore from being dropped at such a height.

"OW! Well we knew that you baka we did our research before we came to 'invite' you." The brunette said rubbing her sore bottom.

"For instance Kousuke Asazuki, seventeen years old, five foot seven, you weigh 150 pounds, and you assaulted a teacher when you were fourteen," Mika said to prove the point. Kousuke gaped at her.

"Where did you obtain that information exactly?" Ryoko inquired cautiously.

"Well you know, we had to slit a few throats…disembowel some people…" Nika purred.

"We have our ways." Mika finished.

"H'okay, so let us get down to business…to ze tour," Nika smacked her hands together and rubbed them evilly. She sauntered over to the monitor and pushed the on button. A young boy's face of about 13 popped up on the enormous screen. He absentmindedly pushed his chocolate bangs out of his sherberty (A/N: SHERBERTY!! 0!) slanted eyes.

"Hey, what-oh, you actually got the portal to work?" sounding impressed, Nata leaned his head _out_ of the monitor and his head became three dimensional, much to the astonishment of everyone besides Mika and Nika. Nata looked around everyone without being very impressed, "So, this is the crew that you so highly thought of? They look like ordinary kids to me," Nata droned.

"Nata, shut up. These are the Blade Children," snapped Nika.

"Oh, plus Ayumu and Hiyoko!" added in Mika helpfully.

"It's HIYONO!" cried out Hiyono, large braids bouncing indignantly.

"Aaaanyway…." Both the girls trailed, as they gave Nata a significant look. He sighed and gave in, retreating back to his monitor and started up an introductory program designed to introduce all the groups that they would be bringing in, to the park.

"Step up to this screen, everyone, and we'll show you why we couldn't tell you exactly what our park was," instructed Mika. Everyone gathered about the lab desk and monitor, shuffling here and there to get a good look. The screen was black, but then it faded into a pale green and then they saw an island.

"This is Hajime Island. This is where two young geniuses have completed and successfully recreated a safe environment for perhaps history's greatest achievements…dinosaurs," a silky, feminine voice came on, as flashes of the islands greenery and coastlines came onto the screen. Eyes rolled his eyes and snorted. Kanone elbowed him sharply and smiled at the girls.

"I'm presuming, that the two of you girls, are the, "two young geniuses" that this video is speakin' about?" he inquired.

"Hey, ask Nata. She's the one who made it," responded Mika. Nika shushed everyone up as the video tour began. Finally, flashes of the gates, security systems, and the fences began to show on the monitor. A general air of puzzlement sifted about everyone's faces, until a shot of a bright orange triceratops sipping at a watering hole was before everyone's eyes. All was quiet through the rest of the video tour, through the hotel, the pool, the recreation room and the showing of the jeeps. The lights went back on as the video ended, with Nata's male face came up on the screen.

"Questions, concerns, comments?" both the girls rang out as soon as everyone looked composed.

"Um, why is Nata a boy, if she was just a girl just like….five minutes ago? Is it a trans?" piped up Rio, whilst Nata appeared to be ruffled at the trans comment. Mika looked at Nika, who nodded.

"We couldn't decide whether it, it being our A.I system, was to be a boy or a girl. I wanted a boy, but Mika wanted a girl. We compromised, since none of us feel like talking to a chicken," put in Nika.

"Or Barney!" Mika said grandly, "I don't want to have to work with something that scares the living daylights out of me." Everyone quirked their eyebrows at that.

"I have a question," Ayumu quietly put in, "Why did you choose us to test out your park? We're no experts on dinosaurs."

"Simple, the only qualified experts in our world are semi…biased based on the fact that they were already traumatized by a failed past attempt from a moron." Mika stated coldly. "We need people who can judge the park for safety and how the normal person will react to the park. The fact that you're not from our dimension helps too." Nika nodded, and beckoned everyone with a crook of her finger, to follow her, all the while muttering under her breath, "That cheap bastard Hammond…" Mika followed up the rear, shepherding everyone to follow, also muttering, "…incompetent morons!"

"Okay, first off we have our Hatchery. We have no eggs here right now, but that is most likely because we're pretty satisfied with the number of animals we have right now," pointed out Mika, coming up into the viewing window.

"Why do you guys need all the straw and what is that wet grass?" asked Kanone.

"That's peat, it cushions the nests. The straw is merely for show, and to make the babes feel better and to make it more like a nest. The real heating is done by the heat lamps above, if you will look," Nika instructed, pointing. Hiyono's pen and notebook were out in a flash and the pen would run out of ink by the time the tour was over.

"Our eggs are made out of synthetic material that is very similar to what you would get if you crossed a birds egg and a reptiles egg, this way we cant be wrong when it comes to whether or not we get the egg type right," Mika said, showing them to the nursery look out.

"My god!" cried out Ryoko, "Look at them! They're those…veloc…Velociraptor things?"

"Velociraptor. Yes, we have a male and a female here, they're very playful. We already have two full grown females in their pen," Mika stated proudly.

"Come, let's go to the dining hall, I'm starved out of my mind here," complained Nika, "I want a smoothie!"

"For the last time, Nika, what is with you and SMOOTHIES!?" shrieked Mika. They bickered back and forth as they led the group of amazed teenagers out of the lab corridors and into the actual resort hotel. The marble floors were a glistening white, with roman influenced pillars to hold up the enormous sky lighted ceiling. A banner was stretched across the far walls of the circular room, and in the middle was a fossilized prehistoric fight of a T rex and a brontosaurus. To their immediate left were a small lounge area and a directory explaining where everything was. Next to the stone tablet directory, was a door exotically adorned with leaf matter to direct customers to the Gift Shoppe. A large, sloping, and curling staircase led upstairs to a floor of rooms. They turned right into the dining room. Immediately, stomachs growled in unison.

"Yaaaaa!!! Look at all the FOOD!!" Hiyono sang out with joy in Ayumu's ear. Sighing, Ayumu nodded in agreement. Hiyono zipped about the grand room, examining every single table in it. The geneticists ushered the group to the middle table where two chefs were currently standing in wait in the middle of the table. Each table was a sort of oval, with another oval cut out in the middle for the chefs to cook in.

"Everyone, take a seat, any seat," Nika barked, her stomach rumbling in time. Murmuring in restaurant voices automatically, everyone eagerly awaited the performance.

"Okay. Let's have a…well what kind of food do you guys want?" Mika asked the group.

"STEAAAAKKK!" Nika Screamed. Mika looked at the blade children.

"Anything is fine with me." Eyes replied. Kousuke and Ryoko both nodded their heads in agreement and Rio shrugged indifferently. Mika nodded at the chefs who proceeded to grill enough steaks to feed a small army of men. The steaks were accompanied by grilled zucchini, onions and small bowls of fried rice.

After Dinner

After everyone was completely full and satisfied a chorus of belches rang through the dining room. One belch in particular shook the crystal chandelier on the ceiling causing everyone to look questioningly at Mika.

"What?" She asked, "Never seen a girl who can belch before?" She huffed indignantly.

"Apparently not Mika-chan" Nika replied laughing slightly.

"So everyone would you like to continue on with the tour and see the park now or would you like us to show you to your rooms for the night?" Mika questioned.

* * *

Nika: H'okay, so, you guys likey? Me and Mika hope so, cuz we've been working our bums off with this piece. Eh, how did we come up with this again, Mika-chan?

Mika: A discussion about Jurassic park in gym class first semester. Oh hello Kanone.

Kanone: Why, 'ello ladies! tips his hat to 'em I came ter ask ya about my accent.

Nika: ; Why, what accent Kanone?

Kanone: This horrid excuse for a southern accent, Nika-chan.

Nika: flares up

Mika: She prefers to be called Nika-KUN Kanone and the horrid southern accent is our way of making fun of the English dub.

Kousuke: Well that's one way to make fun of it for sure. What's your obsession with my glasses anyway?

Mika: I have none I just wanted to steal them.

Nika: elbows Kousuke She thinks yer H4w7 Kousuke-kun.

Kousuke: O.o; Eh?

Eyes: Oi….

Nika and Mika: PIANO BOOOOOOY!!!! Both girls glomp him

Mika: huggles Eyes

Ryoko: steals Kousuke away

Mika: Hey Nika wanna lock the two lovebirds in a dark closet together until something inappropriate happens?

Nika: grins evilly

Rio: sweatdrop please review if you want this to continue.

Mika: AND NO GRAMMAR NAZI REVIEWS!!!!!!!


End file.
